Coming back from a long weekend, I learned to control my emotions. I always horde myself to other guys but this weekend it was the other way around, guys horde on to me. The idea of being given a lot of attention was great but I learned something about myself, I did not need their attention to feel great about myself. I was not drinking away my life hoping to have fun and excitement. Instead, I taught myself to have fun and communicate with them through words and hand movement.
At one point I notice myself paying attention to one guy. Instead of going over to him and giving myself to him, I watch him have fun and count how many girls who want to give themselves to him. Talking to him was not an option because he did not want to talk. I saw it as this guy giving himself a high standard of who to talk to but could not find the right girl to grab his attention. Even thought I noticed him, I disciplined my heart to listen to my brain. By working together I was not a fool but yet a smart girl.
The outcome of my night was great and I know relationships were broken and scarred. But that does not change the fact I became a better person and I am starting to slowly love myself.
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